I came to understand that my desire for my body to be something different was a form of grief.
Grieving Our Bodies
Category: Mental Health
OCD Lite
Watching a hockey game last Friday night from my comfy chair in the living room, I suddenly felt closed in, like there were too many things occupying too small a space. I wasn’t sure why at first; the living room is the same as it’s always been. But that was the feeling: There were too … Continue reading OCD Lite
Bridges
I was today years old when I learned my fear of driving over bridges has a name: gephyrophobia. * Because I live near the “City of Bridges,” gephyrophobia can be a problem since it’s hard to avoid one or more of the 446 bridges in Pittsburgh. (Although, technically, 445 because the Fern Hollow bridge collapsed … Continue reading Bridges
Grief Talk: Self-Kindness
How many times in a day, a week, a month do you say to yourself, "I should have/why didn't I..." and proceed to berate yourself for not doing the thing you think you should have done? My answer is: too many. Living with a loss, in all its forms – death, divorce, employment, friendship, money, … Continue reading Grief Talk: Self-Kindness
A Laundry List of Moments
There’s no way can I recall every bathroom or kitchen sink I’ve brushed my teeth, but I remember the feel of my father holding my chin with one hand while teaching me how to brush my teeth with his other.
Writer’s Block
I laughed at the memory and wanted to share it with Dad, but then I remembered that Dad is gone and so I didn't feel like writing about chairs anymore.
A Lesson in Rhythm
"I will get up and write this down so I don’t forget this lesson, but I know I will forget. I always do. And some other cricket will come along and piss me off and I'll start the lesson all over again."
Grief Research
Having spent the better part of two years writing a memoir about how I learned (and am still learning) to live with grief, I can say for certain that grief isn’t exclusively linked to death.
Farsighted
“Maybe surrounding yourself with grief, sadness, and bittersweet memories all day every day is taking a toll?”
Feeling the Feels of 2020
I sometimes meditate, I sometimes “pray,” but as 2020 progressed, the peaceful breathing and quiet communication with the god-presence wasn't enough to pry open the jammed up emotions that have piled up like dead fish on ice. It must be a 2020 thing because I’m (too) good at feeling the feels in “normal” times. Between … Continue reading Feeling the Feels of 2020
Zen Bag Lady 