The grief we feel when a pet dies can sometimes rival (or surpass) the grief we feel when a person dies. It gets more complicated when we must decide whether it’s time to end their life. It tears us in so many directions—Who are we to play God?—and while we struggle with the decision and … Continue reading Grief Talk Tuesday: Saying Goodbye to Our 4-Legged Friends
Find a snow bank, about four feet high; maybe something off to the left of the sidewalk your dad snowplowed this morning before going to work. Pull your mittens up tight and start digging at about a foot below the top of the bank. (A foot is a safe bet for a roof. Shouldn’t collapse.) … Continue reading How to Read in the Snow
I need steady background noise in order to sleep. I tried a sound machine once, but each sound setting was on a loop. Instead of falling sleep, I was a moth drawn to flame. I’d concentrate on (and anticipate) the end of the loop, over and over and over. After a week, the machine went … Continue reading Grief Talk Tuesday: Operating Instructions
How many calendars does one person need within four feet of each other? If you’re like me, four, with the goal of incorporating a fifth. My daughter bought me a cute card-sized calendar for Christmas that fits nicely on the base of my computer screen. I like that I can glance down from whatever I’m … Continue reading New Year, New Calendar(s) (?)
How can you befriend, love, respect, and, ultimately, grieve and miss someone you’ve never met? It’s easy if you’ve never met Cammy Chapel. Some of you remember Lynn’s Weigh , the blog where I wrote about my weight loss and body issues from 2005-2015. Sometime in the late 2000s, Cammy and I discovered each other’s … Continue reading Can You Grieve Someone You Never Met? Absolutely.
A few weeks ago, Carlene started “talking.” When she sits in my lap, she taps my face with her hands and says, “Mum mum mum,” and I am both proud and petrified. When I try to get her to say, “da da,” she always looks confused. “Who’s da da?” I imagine she asks. “He’s the guy we’re both growing up without,” I tell her.
How many times in a day, a week, a month do you say to yourself, "I should have/why didn't I..." and proceed to berate yourself for not doing the thing you think you should have done? My answer is: too many. Living with a loss, in all its forms – death, divorce, employment, friendship, money, … Continue reading Grief Talk: Self-Kindness
between. The thing is, though, that even when we think it’s destroying us, it just might be strengthening us, teaching us more about ourselves than we ever wanted to know.
There’s no way can I recall every bathroom or kitchen sink I’ve brushed my teeth, but I remember the feel of my father holding my chin with one hand while teaching me how to brush my teeth with his other.
I'm dedicating Tuesdays to all things grief, including book reviews, links to recommended readings and podcasts, guest posts, and other grief-related topics.
Zen Bag Lady 