Yesterday I did something I don’t usually do: I grabbed breakfast on the run at a gas station.
I’d been out with friends the night before, and rather than drive the 80-mile trek home in the dark, I stayed overnight. I’d not brought along any of my standard breakfast-on-the-go foods, assuming they’d have something I could grab to eat before I headed home the next morning. However, fast forward to 7 a.m. and let’s just say there are a few folks in NW PA who need to go grocery shopping.
I didn’t have time for a sit-down Egg Beater veggie omelet at Bob Evans, so I stopped at Sheetz because I recently discovered I love Sheetz coffee. Yes…coffee.
As many of you know, I’m an avid tea fan, but a few weeks ago I had to drive home from Clarion early in the morning and needed a bit more caffeine than tea provides. Sheetz was about the only place open. I poured a huge cup of half hazelnut and half decaf, dumped in a couple of chocolate and caramel creamers (another unfortunate discovery…they are waaaay yummy) and by mile 10 I was perkier than Sandra Dee cheerleading in a poodle skirt. So when I saw Sheetz conveniently located on my way home yesterday, I stopped in for a coffee fix and something edible.
I could have gotten yogurt. I could have just bought the grapes and been on my way. But no. I had to look at their sandwiches. It’s like I left my head in bed because something about their egg/muffin/cheese thing spoke to me and I followed the voice like a zombie.
When I got on the road, I unwrapped the foil, and the moment I took my first bite, I remembered what it felt like to drive to work after hitting McDonald’s and eating two Egg McMuffins and two hash browns in the car. Something about the taste made me comatose then and now. I kept thinking, ‘The egg looks like rubber, Lynn! There are no redeeming qualities in that white flour English muffin! Don’t eat it!’ and yet the more bites I took, the more bites I wanted. Aaaaach! I consumed that faux sandwich in less than a minute and man, was I paying for it an hour later. I don’t remember my stomach hurting like that after consuming my typical McDonald’s breakfast at 300 pounds, but then, I was hardly in tune with my stomach at the time except to never let it feel hunger.
I cleaned up my act when I got home, eating leftover lentil stew for lunch and a spinach salad for dinner, but all day I craved salt and simple carbs. It’s like that sandwich set off an avalanche of triggers, leaving more than my stomach miserable. I was a bit of an emotional wreck for awhile, trying to work through the reasons why I ate the way I did back in the day and facing how I profess to not be swayed by those reasons now when clearly I am on some level.
Today is a new day and I started it with yogurt and blueberries. It felt almost self-righteous to do it, but I did it anyway because I know if I don’t get all Mom on myself, I’ll listen to that zombie voice and seek out Sheetz or McDonald’s and in a few days be struggling with poundage gained from food triggers rather than something I consciously planned to eat and enjoy.
I’m sure this sounds familiar to some of you, right? I hope? Well, no, I don’t hope you struggle with food triggers, but I know some of you do. How do you respond to your inner zombie comatose voice?
Congrats to nawrockifamily (Heidi) for winning the Denise Austin DVD giveaway. Thanks for the warm welcome you gave my sister and her review. She’ll be back with more, I promise!
One other thing before I go, I want to give a shout out to a new blog that three of my Refuse To Regain blogging partner Barbara Berkeley’s clients write called “The Refuse To Regain Maintainers: A community of successful weight loss maintainers looking for the answers while finding themselves.” Maintenance, as you know, is tough enough without doing it alone. I love that more maintainers are finding community online. Check them out if you get a chance.