It’s All One Big Huge Freaking Circle

I’ve been on this weight loss/weight maintenance thing for more then five years now and what I’ve come to realize is that everything – and I mean EVERYTHING – that my body feels and experiences affects my weight and how I think about and relate to my weight. What I eat impacts my health. How I move impacts my hunger. How I think and feel and interact with other human beings impacts my physical and emotional well being, which in turn determines weight gain, loss or maintenance.

It’s a huge freaking circle when you think about it.

Having said that, this blog entry is not directly related to weight because I talk about iontophoresis (it’s OK to roll your eyes…I totally understand), but we all, in some way or other, have therapies we use (physically or emotionally; professionally or on our own and off the cuff) to help us deal with our (for lack of a kinder word) shit.

As you know, for the last few months I’ve been having issues with my left arm. Muscles and tendons feel pinched, often times I can’t pick things up, and I have a hard time pressing my fingers together because my bicep keeps calling in sick. I went in for an MRI on Monday and am waiting the results, which if the results are anything like the right arm, I will take my place in the 3 percent of folks who have bilateral shoulder issues without actually injuring said shoulders.

Whatever. I’m used to it. Hello wrists, toes and knees! But to stay ahead of the game, I’m getting a spiffy therapy called iontophoresis with dexamethosone (“ionto” being the means for transferring the “dex,” which is a cortisteroid drug).

If any of you have inflammation issues in a tendon or ligament or arthritis, this therapy is da bomb! Seriously. Whether you have it administered in a 14-minute segment (here I am hooked up like a car battery),

or in a 24-hour patch (again, my upper arm, this time all taped up and happy),

iontophoresis is an amazing way to get relief.

Of course you have to go through the ice bath first, in which your physical therapist sadistically applies ice directly on to your skin for what seems like hours but only lasts four or five minutes, but still it makes your muscles wonder, “What the goll darn is going on?”

Anyway, tonight I’ve got the battery-charged patch on my arm and am feeling good. I admit, however, that I’m a little on edge, wondering what I’ll find out tomorrow when I pick up my MRI results. My left knee was MRI’ed, but I have an appointment with a new knee doc on Tuesday so I’m not even going there tonight. It’s my left shoulder I’m thinking (worrying?) about. I’m pretty sure things are ripped and torn and in need of repair, just as they are in my right arm. I’ve persevered so far with chiropractic, massage and physical therapy, but with both arms on the verge of collapse (and with two young grandbabies that I want to pick up and hold) I may need to consider more invasive maneuvers. We’ll see.

I’ve cut back significantly on my strength training, and try as I might to increase the cardio to make up for it, I’ve failed miserably. But the good news is that my weight has stayed that same, probably because I’ve cut back on calorie intake. Just because I’m in a quandary with a few joints does NOT give me license to eat willy nilly. I’ve come too far in this journey to let a few muscle rips and tears to stymie me.

In the meantime, I’m taking in the nice weather, appreciating the kindness of my PT, and giving thanks for the fact that I can still chop veggies, wash dishes, vacuum the carpets and type this blog. We all have our issues – physically and emotionally – and we can choose how they affect us. I’m choosing to stay as positive as I can.

7 thoughts on “It’s All One Big Huge Freaking Circle

  1. I will commiserate with you since herniating my disk. It's hard not to get down about not being able to exercise. And it's hard to not start freaking out about food.

    I wonder if that part will ever go away?

    Ice baths are so painful – almost worse than the injury itself!

  2. And keep staying positive. It's all you can do. What your body does and doesn't do is really out of your hands at this point. But you're doing all the right things. Keep doing that. I love you very much and I'm so proud of how strong you are inside and out. That MRI will say something, and I'm sure it'll be bad, but you can't let that get you down. You're so tough and smart and you'll get through whatever else gets thrown at you. Plus you get to see Dr. Hottie on Tuesday with your #2!

  3. This is such a wonderful post, and it hit on so many issues that I can relate to. So many issues! I hear you, Lynn, about the pain and the injuries. I wish you the best in dealing with your injuries, and I am so there with you in commiserating with you as Lori is. I have freaked out about food for the past year due to limited exercise. I have only started back up with exercise, but I still have limitations. I wrote on your facebook page, and I am writing here that I wish you the best of luck with your MRI.

    Injuries are no fun (particularly chronic ones), and I find that having a pity party for myself once in a while (as well as a good cry for all my other issues!) does help. That as well as having a few great friends to complain to! I am thinking of you.

  4. Even though you have these injuries your spirit still isn't dampened and you've got a great attitude! I hope the news is good tomorrow but even if it isn't, then you can still feel empowered by knowing that you will deal with whatever life throws at you in your own special, positive, motivated way, with the support of every one of your readers behind you!

  5. Yes, I like the term Cammie used–grace. I was going to say I admired your calm, but grace is a better word. Keep looking up, Lynn. We all still need your words of wisdom here in blogland!

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