I Want To Be Smoochy

“We’ll get you off that smack, oh yes we will.”

I know the science, I know the psychology and STILL carbs are an evil temptress.

“We’re givin’ up that smack, oh yes we are.”

We watched “Death to Smoochy” Saturday night. Loved it! Smoochy is good and pure and walks his walk. If he was a person who’d lost a lot of weight, he’d be the kind of maintainer I’d emulate.

And so I aspire to be Smoochy.

We celebrated Thanksgiving on Friday because Daughter #2 worked on Thursday. Daughter #1 and I cooked all the trimmings on Thursday and we packed it all up (along with a husband, boyfriend and stepsons) and headed down to Pittsburgh the next day.

I had a plan. I was going to: eat a lot of squash; have a little artichoke dip and 4 pita chips; measure out ¼ cup of cranberry-orange sauce; and load up on steamed green beans and asparagus. When I planned this out the day before, it made perfect sense.

Here’s what I ate: twice the alloted amount of artichoke dip; some – as in I can’t remember how many – pita chips; a few bites of mashed potatoes (no ordinary mashed potatoes…these suckers included full-fat sour cream and cream cheese); a few bites of stuffing (that I’d made with real butter AND chicken broth which disqualified my vegetarianism for a few seconds); fewer green beans and asparagus spears than I’d planned; 2 cups of squash; two bites of pumpkin pie; and one or two (OK, four, maybe five) GENEROUS bites of apple cake. It was all so damn good that I…and I hate to admit this…couldn’t help myself.

Couldn’t help myself. How sad is that after five years?

Deep breath. Even Smoochy’s emotions overwhelmed him and he almost used a gun to kill his nemesis.

What kept going through my head on the way home was, “The more things change, the more they stay the same.” But I know that’s not true in my weight-loss journey. Once I had a day to digest (figuratively, not literally), I realized the T-day food destruction wasn’t as bad as my head made it out to be. The empty-calorie hangover only lasted a day. I’ve not been on the scale yet, and I probably won’t weigh in until Friday, but I’m pretty sure things will be fine. Right now, I just need some distance.

I’m not kicking myself or demeaning myself because I swayed from my plan. I just temporarily forgot my mantra while picking at the T-day food – “How will I feel five minutes after eating this?” – and I didn’t place that thought-out portion on my plate. I just sat at the table and yakked with my family and stuck my fork in this bowl and that bowl and got completely at ease in the moment, forgetting my plan.

But it turned out to be a gift, an eye-opening experience! I was reintroduced to the person I was before – the one who randomly ate whatever. She still lives inside me. She hasn’t visited in awhile, but she lives nearby. OK. I can deal with that. It’s always good to know where your enemy lives.

The best news is that I couldn’t WAIT to eat a smoothie Saturday morning and broccoli for breakfast on Sunday. Just one day and I missed my food routine. So did my body. I felt sluggish and overall yuck when I woke up Saturday. Even though I didn’t eat “that much,” my body said, “WTF?”

Carbs are my nemesis, no doubt. But I’ll continue to aspire to be own superhero. My own Smoochy.

Me and my family of man:
My children:
And, of course, Claire:

11 thoughts on “I Want To Be Smoochy

  1. Oh Claire, you are too cute!

    I sauteed onions and celery in a STICK OF BUTTER for my stuffing, which also included chicken broth, water chestnuts and pecans. Holy hell it was good!

    I did ok on T-day, but Sat and Sun could not resist having one (and only one) bite of pumpkin pie each day. Argh, too much sugar in me just makes me want more sugar!!!

    We did have broccoli last night and tonight, so at least there's that. And my kids went back to school, the leftovers are all gone, and my eating will return to normal, right? RIGHT?!?

    Signed, your partner in food craziness!

  2. Get a grip, one feast day is not going to undo all the good work you've done. You are allowed to celebrate occasionally. You could have eaten A LOT more than you did and it wouldn't have made a dent, because with your steely determination you would have drawn a line under it instantly and been back to your, dare I say it, rigid programme the very next day. Let yourself have some moments of indulgence now and then. It's okay!

  3. Lynn, what a gorgeous family you have! Your daughters are total knockouts, just like their mom!

    Your Thanksgiving story reminds me of my own. It's time to get back to business, for sure!

  4. Sounds like you had a wonderful Thanksgiving even if you ate a bit more than you wanted to. I love your pictures–Claire is too cute, and the one of you and your men is great!

    By the way, I see the sports med doctor on Friday. I will email you with an update afterward. Hope you have a great week!

  5. I hear ya Lynn. And the specter of 'the person I was before,' and knowing she is so close is what makes us react to our indulgences this way. When people say lighten up, or indulge for the day, I don't think they are dealing with the same specter as we are. The 'carb-wants' is a scary thing to me.

  6. You wrote this well – I think for most of us – the WANTS are always lurking in there somewhere. And I totally identify with the peacefulness that my regular food brings.

    I realized that my mother really gets it when she automatically put me at one end of the table (so I am not so surrounded by food) and gave me a luncheon plate (her set is one short of enough dinner plates for all of us – so it just works out).

    And we did comment that a vegan or a vegetarian wandering by would have been very pleased to eat thanksgiving with us – lots of very clean options.

  7. I had good intentions, too. However, there was an unusually large assortment of delicious-looking desserts. I took a very small piece of one kind, and then my son–who is quite thin–took one small piece each of two other kinds. We'd share, we told each other, a bite of this and a bite of that. Before long, there was a third plate in front of us, and then a fourth! And still we didn't sample everything there. Sometimes the upside is that I didn't do as badly as I could have.

    ~Shelley S.

  8. Lovely family pics.

    And it sounds like you have the right idea. It was one day and you've moved on. The fact that it hasn't turned into a week or month of bad eating shows how much you've changed.Great job!

  9. I know what you choose to share does not represent the real picture, so I'm not trying to be critical but I'm just commenting because sometimes it can help to see things from a different perspective (but I'm sure you have heard it all before 🙂

    I think you should let yourself have days where you don't plan and measure (and lets be honest, stress about) every single bite you put in your mouth. From the outside it seems just as disordered as binge/overeating. You've worked hard, and you have proven that you can trust yourself, so give in once in awhile. I'm a strong believer in Andrew Weil's philosophy, so much that I want to quote him: “Food is a major connection between people—the act of sharing food is a fundamental human bond. If you go on a diet that separates you from other people or from your culture, you are sabotaging one of the very functions of eating”. Of course, some may say that they do not want to eat like their culture eats, but the fact that you make your family food with “unhealthy” ingredients etc, shows that you understand the social/cultural aspects, and you know one traditional one-day-a-year meal of indulgences will not kill you. To not let yourself share in that indulgence (when you obviously would like to) sends a message to the little eyes around the table as well.

    A dinner is not a board meeting, you don't always need a plan 🙂

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