I forgot how loud New York is. It doesn’t want anyone in bed before 11:30 and wants everyone awake at 5. And so I am, yawning, but in a good place.
Every morning when I open my email, there’s a little inspirational message from Daily Word. It helps me focus and reminds me to thank and wonder at the higher power that guides me. This morning’s message was particularly appropriate for me today. It says, in part: “Spirit within discloses all I need to know in making what I may consider the most ordinary and extraordinary decisions. There is nothing, absolutely nothing, hidden from me or denied to me in the way of understanding…I am eager to make new discoveries, to move beyond my usual comfort zone in exploring my world.”
I don’t like surprises. I like to know what’s ahead of me, what’s expected, where I need to be and when. However, I have no idea what’s happening in two hours other than someone named Lindsay is picking me up at my hotel and we’ll walk a block to Rockefeller Plaza where the folks at NBC will make me “camera ready.” I keep expecting my stomach to leap into my throat in anxious anticipation of the unknown and yet, from the plane trip to now, I’m calm and taking all this as it comes.
On the plane, I wondered what questions I might get asked during the Today Show and the Entertainment Tonight interviews. I thought about specific aspects of my weight-loss journey – how I felt and when, what I did to lose weight and when – and then I realized that I’m the expert on me and so there’s no question anyone can ask that pertains to me that I can’t answer. What a relief! Of course this means I have more time to worry about lipstick stuck to my teeth or falling off my boots as I walk on to the set. I can’t be completely anxiety free.
I bought the People magazine I’m in at the Pittsburgh Airport yesterday, appropriately at the NBC Store. I paged through it looking for me, unsure of what I was looking for. Then I saw the “after” photo of me on my couch, looking comfy, and the “before” photo of me taken on top of Whiteface Mountain in the Adirondacks. Nothing complicated about it, just me, thin and heavy. I was relieved. On the second page are photos of me from my blog. Again, no surprises. I wasn’t sure what I thought I’d feel when I saw myself in a national magazine like that, but familiarity wasn’t what I was expecting. I love that about life.
Well, It’s almost 6 a.m. The hot water is brewed and the green tea I brought from home is steeping. There will be no room service for this Zen bag lady today. I don’t want my stomach making noises on national television. Besides, I’m wearing something clingy and I need all the help I can get to maintain a flat stomach, or at least the illusion of one. I brought along a banana and orange, some whole grain crackers and PB2 (Bell Plantation’s low-fat powdered peanut butter that you mix with water) and raw sugar for my tea. That ought to hold me until after the interviews.
I just looked out my window at the Rockefeller Plaza skating rink. The flags are blowing straight out. It looks nasty cold out there. I’d like to catch a little more sleep, but it’s time to get a shower and pour myself into some brown leggings. I’ll blog about it all when I get home!