Today, Wednesday the Fourth of July, has a Sunday feel. It’s the Holiday Effect, I guess, although I’m not sure why today feels any different than any other day since one day bleeds into the next when you’re “self-employed.”
I loved this week’s Newsweek “My Turn” column (click here to read it) because I no longer feel alone in my lack of life goals. Like the author, I have no life plan. I stopped having a life plan about a year ago. I don’t know where I’ll be in five years, ten years, hell, even next week. And I don’t care. I really don’t.
My husband pays enough attention to our future for the both of us. Besides, two of us worrying about where we’ll be in a few years makes for way too much stress and disagreement. I’ll let him worry about those things. He’s a better planner than me anyway.
Not having goals doesn’t mean I lack ambition. I dream and hope and do, but in terms of how I live my life, I’m happy figuring out my life from day to day. Since I closed my antique store a year and a half ago, I’ve had time to think and explore and wonder who the hell I am and what I’m good at.
I’m happy, yes happy, to report that I’ve made little progress. Sure, I’ve made money here and there. I’m a contributing member of my little family. That’s not the issue. I’ve made little progress in figuring it all out because I’m trying on several hats and learning patience. Yes, patience. I never thought I’d be patient with anything, particularly goals since I’ve always been goal-oriented.
I’ve come to HATE that two-word phrase: goal-oriented. I’ve put that on every freaking resume, touted it in every freaking interview…ugh! I’m “goal-oriented?” Not anymore! Well, at least not in the whole life/future sense. Life’s been tossed at me left and right, some of it I had nothing to do with and some of it everything: first baby born, 11 days later husband dies, 18 months later out of wedlock baby born, year later second husband decides it’s OK to hit me, and on and on it goes and I regret none of it. Well, almost none of it. Life, made or out of the blue, happens. I moved with it. I still move with it.
I’m not a planner. I’ve learned that I don’t like to be tied to a long-term goal. I know what I’m having for breakfast tomorrow and that’s all I need to know. The most long-term commitment I’ve got right now is that I have a dentist appointment in October.
Like Tom Cochran says, “Life Is A Highway”….I’m gonna ride it all night long.