Laughter In A Time of Laryngitis

I keep forgetting I’m not supposed to talk. A good song comes on the radio and I can’t eek out a note and when my dogs get in my way I can’t tell them to move. Then my husband tells me he’s going up on the roof to clean gutters, so I write him a note: “And just how am I supposed to call 9-1-1? Seriously.”

I was really hoping for strep or bronchitis when I went to the doctor today so I could take antibiotics and feel better in a day or two. But no, it’s just a cold with a nasty case of laryngitis and Doc says I shouldn’t talk for two to four days, something a few of my friends find amusing.

I haven’t had a cold in years, but when I get one, my voice is the first to go. My vocal chords were damaged when I was a teenager – an unfortunate incident involving marijuana, loose mesh at the bottom of the bowl and a burning seed – and they’ve been the weakest link in my upper respiratory chain ever since. If a virus invades, it goes straight to my voice box.

Not talking leaves a lot more time for me to surf the web for entertaining sites that I can pass on to you. First off, you can waste a LOT of time at It’s like The Onion only with essays and cartoons and photos of their writers. Very funny stuff. I couldn’t spend as much time there as I wanted to today because laughing hurts and anyone who’s heard me laugh knows I have a throaty, honking laugh that I really can’t stop once it starts. Yeah, it’s not one of my finest qualities.

From Quirkee I found FOUND Magazine. I recommend you don’t go there unless you have at LEAST an hour to kill. No lie. It’s that interesting. Here’s their synopsis:

“We collect found stuff: love letters, birthday cards, kids’ homework, to-do lists, ticket stubs, poetry on napkins, doodles- anything that gives a glimpse into someone else’s life. Anything goes.

“We certainly didn’t invent the idea of found stuff being cool. Every time we visit our friends in other towns, someone’s always got some kind of unbelievable discovered note or photo on their fridge. We decided to make a bunch of projects so that everyone can check out all the strange, hilarious and heartbreaking things people have picked up and passed our way.”

Those are the two gems for today. Me and my pathetic vocal chords are heading to bed.  But before I go, let me just say that I’m pretty sure I won’t drink chamomile tea or eat sugar-free Jell-O for quite awhile once I’m back to talking again, but the sugar-free popsicles WILL get eaten long after the voice is back. I forgot how much I love those things. Too bad they don’t make the sugar-free in banana flavor. That’s my favorite.

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