Ode to a Thong

Thong underwear takes a little getting used to. My cheeks feel strange pressed right against my pants and I keep wanting to pick my seat.

These were a gift from my friend, Kristin, who, among others, has tried to break me of my granny-panty habit. I thought I was doing well when I bought bikini panties from Victoria’s Secret a few months ago, but according to Kristin, that wasn’t enough. She swears by thongs, says they never let her down, and so I’m giving her little (and I mean little) gift a try.

I admit they feel kind of sexy. I don’t have “love handles” anymore so they sit comfortably on my hips. Hmmm. These have possibilities.

Now if I can just stop wiggling in my seat long enough to write this blog entry.

Today’s topic was going to be about how I’ve lost my sense of humor in all this winter yuck, but I’m finding it hard to be in a serious mood when my underwear feels this good. Freezing rain, gray skies, snow on the way, who cares? I’ve got on pink lace and, hey look, there’s a little bow in the front! Neat!

Now, back to my sense of humor. It’s seriously…

Hey, do you think I could work out with a thong under my gym clothes? Are they spandex friendly? I didn’t ask Kristin that.

OK, Lynn, concentrate. My AWOL sense of humor. Personally, I think the middle east needs a sense of humor worse than I do. No, I take that back. The middle east needs pink thong underwear. Who wouldn’t be happy in a pink thong? Well, except for my husband and maybe a few Muslim clerics. But really. I think I need to write to Condoleezza Rice with this tip. I’m betting she’s a granny-panty kind of gal.

Can thongs and Republicans co-exist? 

We all know Bill Clinton wears briefs, but I wonder what kind of underwear Hillary wears? Will Rock the Vote ask if she wears granny panties or thongs? I hope so. It might sway my vote. Clearly someone who wears a thong is a happy person with a good sense of humor.

I totally forgot where I was going with this blog. My mind is focused south of my equator at the moment. My cheeks are happy, I don’t feel like picking anymore, these just might work out to be my underwear style of choice.

I think I’ll go ask my husband what he thinks.

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